The One That Got Away

I don't and probably won't understand how some people can be friends with their former paramour. I would never do that. And I couldn't. Maybe I'm too emotional or anything, but to me it is better to be a complete stranger when things don't work out. It's not like we were married and have kids. That's different.

There's one guy, whom I briefly dated. He was sweet, have a great job, you know, how everything seems to be great at first. He was older, in early 30s. So I thought, hey he's matured. But the downside is, he asked for a lot. It's kind of cool when he started planning the future, with me in it. However it creeps me out when he pop the question. I mean, i'm only 22. I've got so many things I wanted to do. I need to be me. I was never the girl who always wanted to become a wife and a mother. I need to be more than JUST a wife and mother. How can I inspire my future children to be courageous and follow their dreams when I am ignoring my own by leaving everything, get married and settle down in east cost. That's so not me.

Then again, maybe he was not the one. Maybe, the idea of being with him terrifies me. Not that he's scary, but the commitment itself is scary when you don't have the right person to share, and get through it together. So, we broke up. And he still get in touch. Though I don't see the point. It was awkward because we don't really share any interests, he don't even understand my humour, and I really think we better be stranger. I do owe him a favour though. I have to admit that. After him, I realized M is more than I think he is. To think that he's the only person suffers from the break up is foolish. I lost my best friend. I lost the one person who can tolerate my tantrums, and truth is, he's the one that got way. And luckily, I got him back. And will never let him go. As long as he don't give me reason to leave. And keep the ring away. For now.